As a child, when my parents were angry with me, they would pull me into a room and say “When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions?”
At the time, I had no idea what they meant. However, they seemed to know I needed an answer.
So I did what they asked and I lived my life accordingly, trying to make sure my parents didn’t get angry with me.
As I grew older, I realized what my parents were trying to teach me and how to apply it.
While I was never a great kid, I felt I did a good job not upsetting my parents too much. I was responsible in school, at work, and home.
My grades were good, I never missed curfew, and rarely got in trouble with the police.
As I began to notice that my friends had problems I couldn’t even imagine, I began to fear that I was the cause.
I guess that’s how they teach you to be a “good” kid
However, at the age of 35, I found myself growing bitter at the world, at my friends, and the things they did.
My life was not the way I wanted it, and I didn’t have the motivation or drive to change it.
When I realized that I was bitter and didn’t know how to change it, I checked myself into the Betty Ford Center for one year.
It was there that I was taught the 21-Day Focused Recovery program. I had nothing to lose.
I wanted to be happy, to change my life, and be a positive influence in the world. That’s when I decided to quit drinking and using drugs forever, never to return.
Many successful, happy people have no idea why they are happy.
What is happiness
According to Wikipedia, “Human beings need a sense of meaning and purpose in life.
To live satisfying lives, we need to pursue goals that matter to us, which provide us with purpose, meaning, and the feeling of meaning in life.”
Another well-known definition of happiness is “a felt pleasantness or well-being.”
However, happiness can also be defined as a mood state that is not linked to external factors such as money, status, or physical attractiveness.
Happiness is the byproduct of living the life you’ve always wanted.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. Nothing can be done beautifully or well without hope and confidence.”
After all, happiness is not just a feeling; it’s a state of mind that can be achieved and maintained through many actions.
How to succeed at happiness
But how do you define happiness? What are you supposed to be achieving?
While that may seem like a meaningless question, consider this:
You may be living the life you want, but if you’re not making the most of it, it’s all for nothing.
How will you enjoy life if you don’t have the most meaningful experiences possible?
Do you ever wonder what would happen if you decided to live in a small village in the middle of nowhere?
Life is good to those who are being good to themselves and others, but to those who are not, life is unbearable.
What would happen if you completely surrendered to what you believe in and where your passions lie?
The truth is you don’t have to settle for anything less than the best. If you’re not satisfied with the way you’re living your life, you have the opportunity to make it better.
Just by making a few small changes to your lifestyle, you can improve your life dramatically.
Here are some of the most important steps to happiness.
The first step to happiness is to be happy with who you are right now
That means not trying to change yourself or get rid of your flaws and imperfections.
The second step to happiness is to be happy with your decisions.
For example, when you decided to move to a new country, would you have done it if you weren’t happy with your current situation? It is completely up to you.
You might find the new environment difficult to adjust to.
It might take you a while to find your routine and way of life. It might even feel like a waste of time.
It’s okay to be unhappy for a while, but you must learn to enjoy the experience.
The third step to happiness is to enjoy your life, not just your experiences, but your journey.
Remember: experiences are fleeting, but the memories we have made us who we are.
This doesn’t mean that you should fake happiness.
On the contrary, make it a point to take the time to enjoy the moment.
Life is about experiencing all the ups and downs, the successes and failures, the pain and the pleasure.
But remember this: true happiness is the pursuit of the quest.
While things may not always be smooth sailing, learning to enjoy the process is one of the most important traits to cultivate.
As the late, great Bruce Lee once said, “Many people find happiness by setting their sights on an unattainable object.
In other words, they set their sights on happiness, but happiness is unattainable because it is an outcome and not a process.
They spend their time trying to obtain happiness instead of living their lives.”
Finally, the fourth step to happiness is to become your own biggest fan.
As I’ve mentioned before, you don’t need others to be happy.
As Albert Einstein once said, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”