We all have flaws, which is an unsaid fact of leadership. Every one of us is in the midst of a period of active development. We are always learning new things.
Our connection with our ego is one area of development that receives a lot of attention. The majority of emphasis is focused on the ego’s negative elements, with little recognition given to the components of our ego that truly serve our better benefit.
I’d want to talk about our egos and how we can peel back the layers to uncover the good, terrible, and ugly. Increasing our knowledge of our ego’s involvement in our life might help us develop a more positive connection with ourselves and our perceived flaws. This enables us to present a more balanced self in our daily lives.
Reframe the dialogue you’re having with your ego
Let’s be honest. The ego has received a terrible rap. Personal development experts all around the globe advise us to either repress or completely abolish our ego’s cravings. Here’s the reality.
That’s not going to happen. You can’t get rid of anything that arises inside of you unconsciously. And you can’t suppress something that is built into your DNA.
In fact, attempting to do so would almost certainly increase its presence in your life, whether good or sick. Instead of seeing your ego as an adversary, consider it an ally.
Your ego is a mirror that will show you where you are in your connection between self-serving and self-serving service to others. There will be occasions when you realize you’ve gone too far in the path of self-serving.
If you pay attention, it will also show you when you’ve over-corrected in order to serve others at the expense of your own needs.
Remove one layer of the ego at a time
In our life, our egos are complicated characters. This is not the moment to bring the sea to a boil. You’ll fail if you attempt to take on your whole ego at once.
It’s terrible to take a bite out of a full onion. The failure that follows with attempting to bite off more than we can chew is another example. Simply thank your ego for showing up, and use the chance to acknowledge that it’s an onion, and what’s showing up is one layer for you to unravel.
That is all there is to it. This will offer you something to work with that is realistic. For example, you may simply concentrate on why your ego is activated when your Mother instructs you what to do.
You get irritated because you dislike being told what to do. However, attempting to comprehend the complexities of your Mother’s significance in your life as a whole may leave you feeling overwhelmed and bewildered.
Take it one layer at a time instead. Concentrate on something tiny enough to examine and understand. Then, when you think you’ve gotten to the heart of the matter, zoom out to see whether there’s another layer waiting for you.
Then just keep continuing, one layer at a time, until you’ve finished.
Choose whether to accept it, develop it, or ignore it
Most of the friction in your life will most likely be caused by your ego. The key is to comprehend why it appears, how it appears, when it appears, and with whom it appears. Then you have a decision to make.
You have the option of accepting it as is, since it may be useful to you. The portion of your ego that appreciates praise and acclaim, for example, might be a good incentive to overcome the social anxiety of giving a public presentation.
I’d want to maintain this aspect of my ego intact. Another alternative is to let it develop. If the same portion of my ego that valued praise sometimes led to me seeking praise, I may choose to develop it.
I recognize the part of me that thrives on praise. And I have the option of evolving the part of me that seeks it and instead learning to enjoy it much more when it comes naturally. Finally, you have the option of abandoning it.
As you go into your ego, you’ll almost definitely come across sections that are essentially old tales and parts of yourself that are no longer useful. If I return to the Mother narrative, we may see that we are clinging to a part of ourselves that is linked to our adolescent rebel who just does not enjoy being told what to do.
That tale serves no one and only serves to generate triggering circumstances rather than resolving them. I’d want to forget about this tale. When it reappears, tell myself that I’ve already let it go and take many long breaths to flush it out of my system.
Finally, express gratitude
One of your most powerful mirrors is your ego. It isn’t deceitful or deceptive in any way. You will either enjoy or dislike its reflection.
In any instance, you’re in total command. You may either despise it or strive to destroy it. But keep in mind that you’re merely loathing yourself and attempting to kill a part of yourself.
A work that will live on long after your useless endeavors have faded away. You have the option of respecting or even loving it. I’m grateful for my ego’s reflection on a regular basis.
It provides me the chance to evolve and move into a more aligned version of myself every time it appears. I honor its existence by unraveling it with honesty. Then I appreciate it for exposing me and giving me the chance to improve myself.
What’s more, you know what. It seems to be less now that we have established a polite friendship. My ego doesn’t have to struggle for the spotlight.
The stage is already set and waiting for it to take the stage anytime it feels the need to be noticed. It is my intention to witness it. To investigate it.
To get to the bottom of it. And, in the end, to comprehend it. It is, after all, a bit of me. And I, particularly by myself, deserve to be seen and understood.
I’ve watched far too many leaders engage in all-out combat with their ego, only to be overwhelmed and dismayed by their success. And this may occasionally lead to a destructive and self-loathing relationship with oneself, which serves the opposite goal of personal growth.
The solution will never be to despise a part of yourself. We must look beyond the traditional tale of destruction, destruction, destruction. Instead, we should seek for ways to create, create, create.
We move into an empowering connection that enables us to be in accordance with our service to ourselves and others when we acknowledge that we are the creators of our ego and so have the opportunity to grow it to its fullest potential. That’s when we show the world our finest selves.
Thanks to Nichole Kelly at Business 2 Community whose reporting provided the original basis for this story.
