Also known as being “ghosted”, this is when a person you are interested in simply disappears out of your life without any explanation.
I say ‘interest’ rather than ‘love’ because even though it seems like you are in love, and this is your dream, it is not the healthy relationship you really desire.
Knowing how to stop caring about someone, or even a world full of them is a learning experience I haven’t come across.
It isn’t something that comes naturally, as your mind so often gets thrown into overdrive and can’t find its way out.
You end up getting angry when someone says something that hurts your feelings or your ears, as though they’ve said something that’s racist or has insulted your character or whatever other it is that tickles your fancy.
In the end, your mind doesn’t want to know and you can’t shut it off.
You’ll even start to second guess everything that person says, such as to stay away from the buffet table because you know they’re full of calories and fatty foods.
Oh no, they’re not thinking like that, are they?
If you want to feel a thousand times better about a person, you can’t be seeing them as an opportunity to find them a partner.
Sure, dating someone new and seeing them on dates is a great way to get closer and maybe even have something good happen. However, don’t try to replace the woman or man in your life because you’re dating them.
If you spend your time dating around and meeting a bunch of women who have a lot of potentials, then you’re missing out on all of the good people in your life.
There’s no way you can feel okay with spending your time with someone you don’t like, or one that you don’t have a strong connection.
If you’re considering a relationship with a friend or an acquaintance, realize that no matter how good the person is, it can’t work.
You are not two people and you have no relationship with this person
They are just some person you’re close with that happened to make some really good connections with you. They’re not a significant other and that will never work out.
This relationship is going to end at some point and the only thing you can do to ensure that it doesn’t is to not care about the person’s dating life.
If they end up having a life event that knocks them back into your life, you can be there for them in whatever way you can.
If they get married, then congratulate them. If they get a puppy, then feel a bit sad.
But then move on because no one person should have such a huge place in your life.
You see, when we pursue relationships, we are chasing our desires, and because we want to feel loved and important, we give up our own freedom and make ourselves vulnerable.
This is what we do so we can be “needed” and loved, and get our needs met.
We are born with needs, we grow up with desires, and we spend a lot of our adult lives working hard to satisfy those needs and desires.
We want to love and we want to be loved
We want to be seen and heard and we want to feel like we matter. We want to be held and cared for and cared about.
We want to be needed and appreciated and when we are not met, we often complain and go looking for another person to fulfill those needs.
It is not easy to be alone when we are so used to wanting to be with others. The good news is that when we are alone, we can decide whether we want to pursue a relationship or we don’t want one.
Love and relationship don’t always last forever. We don’t always get what we want, and relationships aren’t always fun. But it’s possible to let go of the fantasy of being in a relationship and explore life on your own.
How to know if you want a relationship or a friendship
Every relationship that you are a part of, whether it’s a romantic one or not, should be a choice.
You should not feel obligated to be with that person. Even if you are emotionally attached, it should not make you feel obligated to go out and find someone else to fill your needs.
It should make you feel good to be your own company.
When you are single and you find someone that you like, you should feel good about the relationship because you are choosing to be in it.
When you are not single, you have to choose to be in a relationship, and that is never a good place to be in your life.
In fact, it can be very depressing.
A relationship should enhance who you are as a person and not take away from who you are. Don’t let it ruin you or take away from your life.
That should be your choice.
If you are happy being on your own, there is no reason to rush to be in a relationship. If you like the company of your friends, there is no reason to find more friends to be around.
When you are in a relationship, you should be with someone who appreciates you and who is also who you are.