You only truly know what someone is thinking, feeling, and doing, when you truly know them.
It is easy to have confidence in someone who does not need your approval.
It is easy to have confidence in someone who only wants to please you.
It is easy to have confidence in someone who has never had an issue with you.
But when you truly get to know someone, you start to see them as more than their past, flaws, or skeletons.
You start to see them as they are. And to know them as you do takes time. It takes perseverance. It takes effort.
Not only does it take time, but it also takes confidence.
Too many people try to gain their confidence by lying, being false, and being fake.
But it will not work for them. They will never be respected, for they are still projecting their own insecurities onto the other person.
How to be confident in someone
Your confidence in another person will be based on their efforts to reach their own level of confidence.
Being confident in someone means that you trust that their actions and words match their words.
It means that you trust that they mean what they say.
To be confident in someone means that you trust that they are honest with you.
It means that you trust that they will respect your boundaries. It means that you trust that they will respect you.
But it is not about forcing someone to be confident in you. There must be an authentic, genuine interest.
You can encourage their actions but the relationship does not develop on its own accord.
You can support them, but you cannot make them feel confident.
It takes courage and a willingness to love and accept their unique journey.
It takes confidence, that while the other person will still have their own insecurities, you will stand by and support them.
You can reassure them, but your job is to let them be themselves.
People can only express themselves when they feel safe to do so
When someone is being themselves, it does not mean that they are perfect.
It simply means that they are being authentic and in the process, their flaws will show.
People can do the best that they can to make their imperfections go away, but they will still be human.
But when you show a real interest in someone and their journey, you allow them to be human.
You validate them. You remind them that no human is perfect. You hold them in your heart and love them, just as they are.
When you truly understand someone and love them with all of your heart, you don’t want them to change for you. You want them to change for themselves.
This means that when they have made a mistake, you forgive them, but you do not let it define them. You want them to grow and overcome it.
But if you are too fixated on what they did to make the wrong decisions, it will cause you to hold them back from learning from it. You can push them to improve but you do not want them to lose their way.
You want them to love themselves
That is the most important thing you can do for them. That is the most important thing they need to do for themselves.
They need to love themselves because they are human. And they are loved, not for what they do, but for who they are.
You can criticize them, but be aware that when you criticize them, you are also criticizing yourself. When you criticize them, you are also criticizing yourself.
People will fall short of their own goals, but it is their journey to make them get there. And they can fall short without you holding them down.
You want to encourage them to be confident, not crush them.
The journey of a man and woman together
The man and woman must support each other. You need to support each other. You need to encourage them.
If you do not, you are bound to have problems. Your relationship will have problems.
And it will not be because of their actions but because of your own negativity.
You can be insecure about the other person’s insecurities and still be confident that they are doing the best they can.
You do not need to make it into a competition. You do not need to make them your judge and jury.
You can make suggestions and set boundaries.
But be aware that they will still have their own insecurities. It is natural for them to be less confident. They will still be imperfect.
They will also have their own views of how they think they should be.
They will have their own goals and dreams. You cannot convince them to lose their individuality.
It is their journey. They need to experience and have their own successes. It is their journey. Not yours.
You can help them see their flaws, but you cannot make them better.
You can help them to overcome their flaws, but you cannot make them see them as good.
You cannot make someone feel that they are good enough. You cannot make someone feel secure in their own body.
You cannot make someone feel comfortable in their own skin. You cannot make them feel they are beautiful.