Sci-fi shows have a way of setting unrealistic and unattainable expectations for relationships.
One of the most realistic, albeit frustrating, relationships is that of long-distance.
Whether you’re apart for weeks or months, long-distance relationships aren’t easy to maintain.
When you’re together, you tend to get caught up in each other’s schedules and activities.
But when you’re apart, you have to find a way to keep yourself occupied.
And when you do this, you eventually end up just resenting your partner for taking up your time.
This is the main reason why long-distance relationships tend to be brief in the first place.
And it’s even worse when the people in the relationship are in their 20’s.
You’re barely even out of your teens and already you’ve learned that long-distance relationships are hard to maintain.
However, there are ways you can minimize the pain and frustration that comes along with long-distance relationships, which I’ll get into now.
The first thing you need to know about long-distance relationships is that it’s completely possible
Maybe you’re skeptical because you’ve seen relationships fail on TV so many times.
But there are a ton of couples that maintain long-distance relationships all over the world.
And there are plenty of people who are currently in one.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own experience as a long-distance relationship expert, it’s that the best way to maintain a successful long-distance relationship is by understanding that long-distance relationships don’t have to be this way.
Long-distance relationships are so common nowadays because so many couples no longer have a “normal” relationship.
Nowadays, couples no longer live in a household together.
They’re either with their partner’s family, married, in a polyamorous relationship, or living in a cohabiting relationship, where their partner lives in a different city.
Because of this, people tend to end up in long-distance relationships because they simply don’t feel like they have the time to spend with each other.
They don’t have the ability to take a weekend trip to the city they both live in.
Long-distance relationships can be difficult, but if you have patience, they’re not impossible to maintain.
There are a ton of ways you can minimize the pain and frustration that comes along with long-distance relationships, and a lot of these things aren’t what you’d expect.
Here are the most important ways.
1. Embrace the location
You may be a different person when you’re apart, but you’re still the same person.
You’re both still you, so the only thing that’s changed is your location. What you do is still what you do when you’re together.
The location you live at doesn’t determine who you are as a person.
It’s only important that you have the opportunity to spend time together, even if it’s only for short periods of time.
In other words, the location doesn’t determine who you are, it only determines how much time you’re both able to spend together.
If you find yourself bickering with each other over little things that don’t matter, you may be right.
Your location shouldn’t determine your personality. But it should help you be closer to one another.
2. Don’t regress when you’re apart
Every relationship has its ups and downs. When you’re apart, your ups and downs may seem more intense.
But the important thing to remember is that when you’re apart, you shouldn’t regress to who you were before.
Maybe you had a rough start to a relationship, so you regress to how you were during the beginning stages of your relationship.
Or maybe you had a terrible relationship experience in the past, so when you’re away, you may feel like you need to do things differently.
Whatever the case may be, don’t let your past relationship experiences get in the way of your current relationship.
3. Remember why you’re going through this process
Some people fall into long-distance relationships because it’s easy and seems like the natural next step.
Some people have a hard time getting a long-distance relationship off the ground.
And some people fall into a long-distance relationship because they have nothing else going on.
In any case, it’s good to remember why you’re going through this process.
Long-distance relationships aren’t a “fall back” or a “safety” option. They’re a way to strengthen a relationship with someone you care about.
When you think about it, a long-distance relationship makes a ton of sense.
Long-distance relationships allow you to be with someone, and enjoy each other’s company, without the stress of an everyday relationship.
4. Choose your love and who you want to be with
It’s really hard to be in a long-distance relationship.
You have to learn to say goodbye, you can’t be together all the time, you have to make decisions based on what’s best for both of you, and you have to spend long periods of time with other people.
People who do long-distance relationships may love their partner, but they’re still their own person.
When you love yourself, it’s easier to make decisions that are best for your happiness.
When you’ve chosen your love and who you want to be with, the relationship becomes more than just a comfort zone.
It’s a partnership and a relationship that is worth making sacrifices for.
5. You’re not alone
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ll have friends and family around you.
There are a lot of people who have gone through long-distance relationships and they can offer you advice and support.
And there are a lot of people who have been in long-distance relationships, and they can give you tips on how to be better.
Even if you’re a shut-in, there will always be other people who love you and will support you.
It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this process. You may be separated by miles, but you’re not alone.
