I am going to address one reason why you might not want to contact your mom over text.
You don’t want to have to see your mom’s texts. It might get embarrassing.
Perhaps you were caught lying, or you might have said the wrong thing and are worried that you are going to get busted.
Or you might have an issue with something that she did that you don’t want to discuss in front of your friends/peer group (let’s just say you were wrong and you shouldn’t have said/done/received the information in the first place!).
You might be having a very big, adult problem and you don’t want to discuss it in a phone call. You may be worried that you are going to be judged or ridiculed.
You might be worried that you are going to get in trouble with your mom for making the text conversation public (remember that no text can be shared via text, only photos, videos, etc.)
I can see why you might be thinking that you wouldn’t want to tell your mom the things that you want to tell her face-to-face.
But, then why not just tell her all of that in person?
You can do that in person. If you tell your mom in person, you don’t have to worry about her reading your text message in front of her friends.
And your mom will be able to explain why you texted her in front of her friends, and you will have an honest and open discussion about the situation.
In-person, you can express all of your concerns to your mom, including the concern about how you will “find the words” to convey what you need to express.
You can express to your mom all of your concerns about doing it face-to-face (but you can also do this in a text, and it will be more effective).
It is much easier to communicate in person. It is more effective. It is less embarrassing.
And it’s much better for your relationships with your parents.
Ask for face-time or video call
Most of the conversations that your mom and dad have with you and your siblings happen in person.
They are hanging out and having coffee and dinner with you and your siblings.
They are going to sporting events together, they are attending concerts and dance recitals together, they are planning vacations together, they are going out to dinner together, and so on.
Your parents are not afraid of facing you in person. So, why are you?
Your mom might be too afraid to speak in front of her friends. She might be too shy.
She might not know how to speak in front of other people.
If you had some one-on-one time with your mom in person, you could really work on this, and it would be much easier for her to relate to you if you could both be face-to-face.
Ask for face-time or video call in person
If your parents seem to think that they won’t be able to have a good conversation face-to-face, then you should always be proactive in getting them to see you.
Sometimes, this can be easier said than done.
So, when your parents invite you over, you can always ask if they will come over so that you can talk in person.
It is worth it to ask.
If your parents will come over for coffee or lunch, that is a great option.
But, if you want to try to have a one-on-one conversation, then you should always ask for a face-to-face conversation.
Don’t ask if your parents will come over so that they can meet you, because they won’t.
They will come over so that they can have coffee with you. And if they feel awkward or uncomfortable, they won’t be able to communicate that in a good way.
When they do come over, make sure to make time to sit down in your parents’ living room.
Avoid sitting in the kitchen or the living room while you talk.
If you don’t sit in the living room, then your parents might feel uncomfortable in the living room.
If you do sit in the living room, then you will both have a chance to learn more about each other.
When you do sit in the living room, make sure to have a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere.
You don’t want your parents sitting next to each other with your siblings in the living room.
You want to be able to have a good, open conversation.
Make sure to sit on a couch, or you will feel more relaxed when you sit on the couch.
After you sit down on the couch, then talk. It is much easier to talk with both of your parents on a couch.
Take some time to breathe
Your parents want to have a great, open conversation with you.
They are terrified that they are going to say something in a way that you might not like.
Make sure to take some time to breathe. Sometimes, all you need is some quiet time and some breathing room.
Most of the time, your parents aren’t going to say something that is going to embarrass you or offend you or make you upset.
It is your parents who will be the ones who are nervous and afraid.
When you sit down and have a calm, relaxed conversation with your parents, then they will be able to relax and not feel nervous and afraid.
So, give your parents some breathing room and let them know that you will take some time to breathe and take a few deep breaths.
They will feel more comfortable.
You don’t want to be on the phone or FaceTime all the time. Don’t always have your phone out.
If your parents seem to be comfortable with you sitting there with them for a while, then keep talking.
Keep talking.
