Sticky note with apology

If your friendship just took a huge blow, there’s nothing worse than losing a friendship.

Although it’s completely understandable, being able to apologize over text is a great way to move on.

Why is it so hard to apologize via text?

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When you text the person you owe an apology, you have all sorts of personality control issues to contend with.

For one thing, you can’t just blurt out that you owe them an apology.

This would show them too early that they had been a recipient of your apology.

However, you can’t go back and explain your reasoning. You can only say it once and trust that they will understand.

How to apologize over text

There are two things you want to avoid doing with a text apology: Firstly, you can’t repeat any mistakes you made in the conversation in the apology text.

Secondly, you need to be honest with your text. No matter how much they knew you messed up, you need to be honest about it. If you’re not sure how to make things right, then you can’t pretend that you aren’t at fault.

There is another very important aspect of an apology text. This one comes down to presenting yourself in a manner that has them feel they can confide in you.

If you were to try to hold onto that high moral ground in the conversation, you’re going to be wrong.

Give your friend the benefit of the doubt

When you were in school, did you ever have to repeat a lesson you were already well versed in?

As a business student, sometimes you have to redo a project you just messed up the first time.

This seems like an impossible task when you’re in a heated argument or hurt by someone’s words.

But the reality is you can apologize over text, and it will make your friend feel good.

Even if you don’t think you have any responsibility in your friend’s life, you have the power to let them know you were just making a joke or can relate to what they’re saying.

This isn’t the time to explain your personal feelings, you can do that after you give them a chance to let you off the hook.

Keep the conversation positive

Black man apologizing while talking with girlfriend

All you want to do is get your friend to be understanding and give you a chance to move on.

It doesn’t matter how you did something wrong, or how bad it made you feel; just keep the conversation focused on moving on from the mistake.

Offer to be friends again. Offer a solution, say that you want to make it right.

Don’t apologize for something you did wrong. Make your apology generic.

Be prepared to accept their friendship, but in a positive way.

Say you’re sorry when they respond

On the flip side, when your friend is apologizing to you, just wait for them to respond.

If they don’t respond immediately, the text may have been misunderstood.

Sometimes, they just need time to process what you said and whether they want to apologize.

Keep texting them so you can make sure you’re not communicating too fast or apologizing in a rushed manner.

This way, you can get a better idea of what your friend’s attitude towards you is.

Stick to a very brief statement

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Some apologies should be put in text messages. Some might only need two words.

Others will require a longer email or conversation to fully explain what you were saying that offended them.

There is no perfect way to apologize over text, but here is a general guideline of what to keep in mind when creating your message.

One: Use simple language

You want to avoid using too many adjectives and modifiers, as these words can complicate your message and add extra information to your sentence.

You want to focus on the problem and not the other person.

Two: Remain neutral

This means you’re not being negative or saying something that’s going to incite a fight. You want to keep your language positive. If your friend gets upset, just say you’re sorry and move on.

Three: Keep the conversation going

You should always stay connected with your friend so you can catch up whenever you want. Don’t let your text conversation die out.

Some topics don’t lend themselves to a quick apology text. You might want to get more into detail.

Maybe they said a few insulting things? Perhaps they were joking around and don’t get why you took it that way?

When you are ready to fully apologize, come back with a text message that is more than one sentence and leaves a lasting impression.

Don’t make it into a joke

If your apology message is delivered in a humorous tone, you may be coming off as disrespectful to your friend.

Try to use humor sparingly.

If you want to apologize for something that was in good humor, just send them a short message to say you were joking or you were taken out of context.

Most of all, be mindful of how you communicate with your friends.

What they expect will directly influence how you should act and how they should react.