Please keep in mind that, as you read this, you are not wrong for reacting as you did. You were just oversensitive, and you should take responsibility for that.
If you’re nervous about coming across as overly sensitive, don’t worry; this article is about the “light” version of oversensitivity, and anything else is a red flag.
Instead of apologizing for how you feel or blaming yourself for being wrong, you need to use an apology to your advantage. Here are some things to look for when you’re apologizing for oversensitivity:
Apologize for the overreaction, not the emotion
Many times, oversensitivity is rooted in a misunderstanding of an event. If you take time to better understand why you felt the way you did, you will likely feel less emotionally distressed.
Be clear that you’re not apologizing for your feelings, but rather for the way you reacted to those feelings.
For example, if you accused someone of sexual assault, it was not for your feelings, it was for your understanding.
This means that, while you feel horrible about what you did, you don’t need to apologize for the way you feel.
Cite a third party for your overreaction. If you didn’t have an objective perspective on the situation before you started reacting, you don’t need to apologize for that.
Avoid using the word “that” while you’re apologizing
Saying, “That makes me feel angry,” or, “That upset me,” indicates that you are responding to your feelings, not the situation or other people.
Let the other person define the extent of the problem. Someone who is overly sensitive will interpret anything as an attack or a rejection of who they are.
When you are apologizing for oversensitivity, make sure that you’re not directing your focus on what the other person is doing wrong. This way, you can keep your focus on yourself and work through your emotions.
If you’re not sure what to say, ask a friend for their perspective. Ask them what they would say when you are oversensitive.
How to relax
In addition to practicing the above steps, you’ll also be required to relax.
Overthinking and tense muscles can make everything more difficult. So how can you relax?
Here are a few ways that can help you feel relaxed and at ease.
Some of these are more effective than others. Use what works for you!
Take a bath. At the very least, taking a nice, warm bath helps you relax.
And if you don’t like baths, try a hot bath or a nice shower.
Linger in the tub for a few minutes, or soak in the shower for ten or fifteen.
The water and heat will soothe your muscles and ease your mind.
Take a warm bath. At the very least, taking a nice, warm bath helps you relax.
And if you don’t like baths, try a hot bath or a nice shower. Linger in the tub for a few minutes, or soak in the shower for ten or fifteen.
The water and heat will soothe your muscles and ease your mind. Listen to calming music.
Listening to calming music in the background can be a great way to relax.
Lately, I’ve been listening to these three song loops on Spotify:
- Rain
- Forest
- Ocean
Just keep scrolling through the playlists until you find the music that works for you.
Meditate
I know that most people won’t be able to get very deep into meditation, but even a few minutes of it can help calm your mind.
And if you already meditate, there’s no need to do anything differently!
- Watch a funny movie.
- Listen to music.
- Stand in a long shower and relax your muscles.
- Play a soothing game on the phone (or computer)!
A massage is another way to relax. In fact, a simple massage can give you the same calming effect that a hot bath or a long shower would!
If your therapist is professional, then you can try a simple procedure called reflexology or Chinese medical massage.
Some people are really tired, so they need a nap. You don’t need to nap, but if you do need a nap, just take the most comfortable position you can find.
If you have trouble sleeping, try listening to soothing music while you’re taking a nap.
I know I’m going to sound like I’m making these steps up. But the fact is that I’m not: I’ve had years of experience using all of these methods.
If you’re interested in reading about more ways to relax, check out this article on my website.
Summary
Let me summarize all the steps to the post above.
If you’re experiencing difficulty with managing your emotions, it’s okay to feel like you need to fix things and get rid of your emotions.
That’s a completely natural reaction.
But even with everything in place, the best thing to do is to just practice being mindful and accepting of who you are.
As you practice these steps, you’ll get better at dealing with your emotions.
And if you’re still not sure how to make progress, you can always ask for help.
If you’re having trouble, check out my free guides on dealing with emotions and finding a therapist.
What have you done to make progress with managing your emotions? Share in the comments!
