Jealousy is a natural emotion. It is the desire to get what someone else has or has not.
Even jealousy is not necessarily wrong.
When you feel jealous, you are wishing for what is not yours. And this is normal.
Jealousy happens in a marriage because you have insecurities
Most marriages have a place of insecurity for the spouse. Jealousy is simply a means to get closer to that which you wish to have.
As we get older, we lose our innocence and we see how life can be.
It is normal to lose your innocence and you should not be ashamed of this fact. But this should not lead to your being guilty of this loss.
And you must realize that being jealous does not mean that you have a lack of faith in your spouse. In fact, it is the other way around.
Jealousy simply means that you are no longer oblivious to the fact that there are things that the other person is doing or not doing.
Instead of being angry and blaming the object of your jealousy, use this as a learning experience to improve yourself and become a better person.
Don’t just apologize so someone will stop being mean to you. Instead, say you’re sorry you’re being insecure and being mean.
Jealousy is a healthy emotion
It tells us that we’re human and it shows we care about someone’s relationship.
It shows us that there are certain things we value in another person. And it tells us that we want what we don’t have.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, “Jealousy occurs when we experience a conflict between competing demands on our identity or desires.”
The good news is that jealous emotions are pleasant. They make you happy because you care about someone and want what’s best for them.
Jealousy is just like any other type of emotion.
When we experience jealousy, it gives us a chance to reassess our relationship and use it as a learning opportunity.
The last thing we want to do is be hateful and hurt someone for being jealous.
So next time you’re jealous, take a deep breath and use it as a learning experience.
What can you learn from this? How can you become a better person? What can you change?
Here are a few tips to help you become a better person when you’re jealous:
Be aware:
Don’t start throwing accusations and blame your partner for you being jealous. “She’s cheating on me!” is not an excuse.
Be patient:
Let your partner know that you’re jealous and that you want them to be happy.
Communicate your feelings and vulnerabilities so your partner knows you care.
Listen:
Tell your partner that you’re jealous and that you want what’s best for them.
When you’re jealous, listen to your partner. Instead of turning the conversation around to yourself, listen to them.
Let them know that what they’re doing is nice and you want what’s best for them.
Apologize:
If you have negative thoughts that bring you down, be honest with yourself and take accountability for them.
Do not blame your partner for being jealous. Tell your partner that you’re being insecure.
Apologize. Ask them if they want to hear what you have to say.
Ask for what you need:
Don’t complain that you don’t get what you want or what you want isn’t what you want.
Instead, ask for what you need.
Instead of keeping this conversation in your head and worrying about what’s best for you, ask your partner to please take you to dinner or to do something else that you can enjoy together.
Next, let’s discuss how to apologize for being jealous:
Apologize for being jealous:
This is where the actual learning starts.
Say that you’re sorry that you’re feeling jealous and ask them to do something special for you.
Ask them to do something that they know makes you happy.
Be thankful:
Thank them for being someone you care about and telling you that you’re important.
Be honest:
Be honest about how you’re feeling and tell them what you can do to be a better person.
Express gratitude:
Let your partner know you’re happy that they’re with you and that you are grateful for their happiness.
Express your concern:
If your partner is mad or upset, express your concern and let them know you care.
Understand that everyone has their feelings:
Everyone has their own way of handling their feelings.
Instead of getting angry or disappointed in your partner, express that you understand their feelings and that you can be a better person.
Ask for help:
If you feel like you don’t have the skills to deal with your jealousy, reach out to a friend or a professional.
Together, you can learn and become better people for it.
Being jealous is a normal emotion. It makes you feel strong emotions.
Jealousy is a good thing and it can teach you a lot about yourself and your relationship.
Use these tips and take responsibility for your jealousy.
Instead of blaming your partner, take ownership for your jealous feelings and use them as a learning experience.
You’ll be a better person.
